Dear Human, You’ve Got Mail: From Your Body

I love you and I’m doing my best, but I think we have a supply and demand issue to deal with

Photo by Wonderlane on Unsplash

Dear Synapse-Maker,

Thank you for all the yummy food you’ve been giving me lately, I really appreciate it. without you, I wouldn’t have the energy or the strength to get up in the morning, never mind carry your 15kg mobile office from place to place!

You know, it’s pretty dang cool that you’re giving me enough fuel to run a 10 kilometer race everyday! But until you actually do run that race, or need the energy for something else, I’ll just pop the extra supplies out of your way. Best place for me to store it till needed is your belly, I reckon; though I’ve also found some pretty good stashing spots in your thighs, butt, upper arms, and double chin.

Sorry to hear you’re not happy with the aesthetics of the storage facilities, though. So I’ve had an idea that I think will help you get the look you want, and help me not to run out of room for the excess fuel: cut the density of each delivery, so I can put most of it into immediate output for you. Also, I’m cer…